Hardships
by criticalkill
Summary: Everyday we picture life as this perfect place that no matter what it will always be okay. But what if it isn't? What if life deals you a seven and a two and expects you to come out on top?


_**Hardships, the first story I wrote that I intended to have a sad ending for. I managed to finish one chapter before giving up on it. I had a plan for it too. About half of the second chapter got finished and then I just quit. I still have it all saved on my computer, but it just sits.**_

**Hardships**

I cracked open another bottle of whiskey and tilted it up, immediately being greeted with the burning sensation of the alcohol. I had been like this for the entire day, hoping that eventually it would wash away my problems.

After I had successfully downed half of the bottles contents I made my way over to the bathroom with surprising coordination and preceded to splash my face with water. I looked up into the mirror noticing that the white fur on my head had been tinted brown due to lack of hygiene that my life style had at the current moment. And where the color didn't matter the matting did. Dirt mixed with sweat had made my fur clump together in several places on my face and torso. Glancing down my unclothed chest I noticed that the fur there had also been tarnished in color, giving me the look of a homeless person.

I hated what I had become, but for the past three days I had been like this. Drinking myself into a stupor and then trying to figure out how this had come to be. Checking the mirror once more I noticed my eyes. For once in my life they didn't hold that shine that they normally did. They weren't that vibrant green that I had been so accustomed to. Instead they were bloodshot and dull giving them a color that could almost be described as being gray.

I didn't even look like Fox McCloud any more. And it wasn't even my fault. I didn't bring this upon myself and yet I was still paying the price. I let a growl escape my muzzle and without thinking I brought my fist up even with my face and let it fly directly into the mirror, shattering it into tiny shards and having them spread across the floor. After letting the spur of the moment rage leave my body I brought the fist back to my muzzle once more, this time examining the blood coursing out of my knuckles.

My arm fell back down to my side and I exited the bathroom this time setting my destination as the kitchen, feeling the need for something other than whiskey. I felt as though the Harshness that it held was making me overly violent. Upon entering the kitchen I was greeted with all the memories that the place held within my heart. All of the good times I had been awarded for risking my life for the good of Lylat. Yet as of current I hated every single one of them, wishing that they had never occurred.

The entire home was a giant memory I wish I had never had the pleasure of knowing. I had bought the small home within one of the many suburbs that Corneria had to offer with the money I had earned through my team. Team, we were more like a family then a team. Yet I hardly ever hear from any of them anymore.

Slippy had left the planet entirely to go live with and Amanda on Aquas. Though I never got to see the toad anymore he occasionally called to see how things were going, to give us various updates with his life and what not, yet his calls were coming in less and less. I think he finally moved on with his life and decided to leave the past behind.

Falco had moved into the inner city with Katt Monroe, an old flame of his that even to this day he claimed as not being serious. I personally think that he loves her, despite the fact that they sometimes break up and there is no clear sign of them making the next step, but their love is there. Behind the cocky attitudes they both sport they have actual feelings for each other. And now it's just a matter of who will build up the guts to tell the other how they actually feel.

Peppy finally retired and took up position as the new General of the CDF. I was happy for the old hare. He no longer had to be out there actually fighting the war in order to put his knowledge to use. He had been like a father to me when I had no one to fill that role and he was currently the only one who still kept in touch. The last time I heard from him was the day before the incident. And I find it ironic that the last words he told me were that he was happy for me.

Yet here I am, in one of the lowest points in my life wishing that someone or something would come through and end it all. I took a swig of the recently opened vodka and plopped down on the couch, staring into the blackness of the TV in front of me. After taking another gulp of my drink my thoughts drifted over to the last member of my team, Krystal.

From the first moment I met her I believed I never had a chance with her. And when my feelings started to surface I kicked her out of my life. She ends up joining my rivals team and sports a sudden hatred towards me. A war ends and finally she comes back, making everything after that touch-and-go. After finally working everything out we end up getting together and talking about our future. That's the reason I bought this house, for her. Everything I've ever done was for her and yet she repays me like this. I felt the anger rise up from within me just from the thought of what she did. Looking for an outlet I slammed my fist through the glass portion of the table in front of me, creating more cuts that I would have to deal with later.

I was pitiful, living like I had no reason to get up just because of one stupid thing that happened in my life. It made no sense really. My parents died when I was young, I endlessly face hardships, I never have anything go my way at the beginning, and I have yet to have someone truly love me. And here I was expecting everything to magically get better. The only way my life gets better is when war breaks out, and I doubt that would happen anytime soon.

I sat there, not wanting to take part in reality. Hoping that maybe all of my problems would resolve themselves. That maybe, just maybe, something will go my way. I could actually feel my senses dulling, confirming the fact that my body held large amounts of alcohol within it. I felt alone in a world that exists solely because I saved it. I went to take another drink only to lower the bottle before reaching my lips. I couldn't even bring myself to take another drink.

As I wallowed in my own world of self-pity I recognized the noise a key made when unlocking a door, unlocking my door. There was only one other person that had a key to this house, and that was her. The person that ignited a drinking spree of which I had yet to pull out of. The being that took away my will to live. The person that I gave my heart to, only to have her rip it apart and throw it away. It was her, it was Krystal, and now was the time for me to confront her.

Without a plan I stood up and approached the door awaiting the moment she entered. So many emotions were rushing in my head. I still had yet to decide which emotion would fuel my actions, but because of this all happing so fast anger had made its way up front. The door opened and there she was, standing there like it was just another ordinary day, like nothing bad had ever happened between us. Our eyes met and instantly her expression dropped, the normal upbeat smile being replaced with a look of sorrow. She knew why I was like this, and she knew it was her fault.

She hesitated, slowly allowing herself to enter the home and close the door behind her, the same look adorned upon her muzzle. I caught her gaze once more, trying desperately to fight off the feeling of guilt, wanting to make her feel as bad about all of this as I could. Her eyes told me exactly what she was feeling. The same eyes that I looked at for comfort in the past now made me burn with two things, anger and sadness, the latter being a result of the drinking.

I waited for the impending apologizes. I realized that because of her nature she would try and diffuse the entire situation, but I wasn't going to budge an inch. If she truly felt bad then she could at least do something better than apologize.

"Fox, I'm sor-" "Save it." I was right. The first thing she was going to do was try and make the best of the situation, but I wasn't going to have any of it.

"What you did was unforgivable. I did everything I could to regain you're trust and have you back in my life only for you to turn around and stab me in the back. Do you have any idea how much I've been hurting for the past three days?" I beckoned the vixen to answer only for her to remain mute while subtle tears made their way down her cheek. Any other day I would have had her in my arms and trying to console her the best I could, but not today.

"Do know how much I've given up for you? Ending the team was for you, this house was for you, everything I've done was for you and yet you act like you could care less. Do you realize how selfish that makes you look?" By now my voice had risen to an above average level and the tears that the vixen sported were now coming full force.

"And yet you still feel saddened by what you've done. I guess you actually do have a heart." I was guilt tripping her as best I could, making sure that she knew I was pissed. At any moment I could have kicked her out, yet the tiniest part within my heart still loved her and I knew that eventually I would forgive her. But now, I would make sure she regretted every moment.

"You came here asking for forgiveness right?" Her only response was a nod, still deciding to remain silent waiting for the moment I finished.

"Well, what do you have to say? What could you possible say that would help me forgive you?" Again she said nothing, my relentless onslaught of guilt triggering moments being too much for the vixen to handle.

"Nothing, you honestly have nothing to say. After what you did you have nothing to say?" I turned away, letting her know that I truly didn't care anymore.

"I-I'm s-sorry." I stopped mid stride, surprised that she actually built up enough courage to speak. I turned my attention back to her, seeing that she had her head bowed in shame.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen." She kept her eyes closed and towards the ground, trying her hardest to avoid my gaze.

I reached out towards her, lifting her chin up to face me and having her eyes open in the process. They were the same eyes I always remember looking into to seek comfort. The same eyes that gave me the courage to ask her to join the team. The same eyes that even now I can't help but feel the smallest amount of guilt for making them shed tears.

I shook away the sudden urge to feel sorry and instead got back to the task at hand, "If you feel so bad, them why did you do it? Why the hell did you go cheat on me then? And out of all people why Panther? You really saw that cheating scumbag as an acceptable person to replace me with?"

"Of course not! The alcohol told me that he was being honest. The alcohol was what made him seem like a good guy. It was the alcohol that made me kiss him at the bar. If I was sober that would have never happened Fox, you know it wouldn't have. And that's all that happened Fox, I didn't sleep with him and I never would have. Even though I was plastered out of my mind I still would've never gone home with him. I love you and you only, you know that and so does everyone else." Her tears had subsided back to their previous state of subtlety and she was trying her best to convince me that none of this was her fault.

"I don't care if you had a BAC of .30; you still cheated on me Krystal. Watching you lock lips with that sonofabitch was one of the worst things to ever happen to me. Watching you leave me because of my actions was hard enough, but watching you leave me for another man was the final straw Krystal. I want you to pack your stuff and leave until I'm willing to give us another chance." Right then I decided that this wasn't bad enough for me to leave her forever, but it was enough for me to see that I needed to think about what has happened within the past three days.

"Fox please don't do this; I promise I won't ever do anything like that again!" Her tears were starting to progress again and I was starting to lose my patience.

"You probably won't, but that isn't the point. The point is that you need to pay for what you've done, and maybe some time away from each other will be exactly what we need to realize how hard it is to live without one another." I knew that I could never stop loving Krystal but she needed to realize that I wasn't kidding around. She was lucky that I didn't throw all of her shit out into the yard and that I had managed to keep my emotions in check.

I opened the bottle of water I had gotten out earlier and took a swig of the substance with hopes of dulling the hangover that I was going to receive in the morning. I screwed the cap back on before heading into our bedroom and collecting one of the suitcases atop of the walk-in, "Take some clothes and find a place to stay the night. Be prepared to stay another night depending on how I feel in the morning. When I'm ready we can talk about all of this and hopefully work everything out."

"And where am I supposed to go? Do you suggest that I walk all the way into the city just to find a hotel to stay the night?" I moved back into the living room and retook my place amongst the couch, relinquishing in the feel of the leather behind my back.

"You could always try Katt. She only lives about five minutes away and she always has a room open even with Falco there. And if not her then I'm sure that a cab could just as easily pick you up and take you to a motel that has some vacancy." I tried to sound like I didn't care in hopes that it would really sell the fact that I was still angry over what she had done. But she had some points, it wasn't entirely her fault. The amount of liquor she had consumed would have been enough to kill Slippy being that he was such a lightweight. But putting that aside she should have never been hanging around their table to begin with.

She turned away and stormed over to the front door, my cold facade finally making its mark against the Cerinian. Just as she was about to leave she turned back to me and brought up a completely irrelevant matter, "Fox, do you remember what we did roughly two weeks ago?"

The amount of time it took to bring up the memory was instantaneous. It was one of the best nights of my life. And every time I thought about it the same emotions were brought up. I looked back into the vixens' eyes, still unsure of her motives and spontaneous recollections, "Yeah I remember, what about it?"

She looked crushed, as if what I had just said completely shattered her hopes, "You really can't even guess? Even with that specific moment in your mind you still can't guess?"

I had some thoughts about it, most of them seeming completely unrealistic. But one thought kept gnawing at the back of my mind, making me wonder if what I had just said ruined my future, "Krystal, Are you trying to tell me what I think you are?"

She nodded, instantly confirming my fears of dread. We stood there with an eerie silence hanging in the air and the only noise being the soft pitter patter of the rain outside. She grabbed the door knob with one hand and put the other over the lower portion of her stomach; sporting one of the saddest looks I have ever seen her have, "I'm pregnant Fox, with your child. And if you really want me to go that badly then fine, I'll take this child and leave. I hope you have a wonderful life Fox McCloud, because I won't be a part of it!"

And with that she slammed the door, knocking a single picture from its spot amongst the wall shattering the pane of glass that protected it in the process. I just stood there, letting ever thing that just happened sink in. Then it all hit me, like an Arwing falling out of the sky and landing on top of me. I rushed forward practically ripping the door off of its hinges in the process and frantically spinning in each direction trying desperately to catch the faintest indication of my mate. After realizing she was gone I fell to my knees, adding my own tears to the drops that already fell from the sky. So many thoughts were running through my head but one stuck out among them all. Two simply words that summed up my sorrow perfectly. Two words were all that was needed to make me feel destroyed. Two simple fucking words.

She's gone...

_**This was to be a one-shot but then I realized how much of an awesome story this would be if every chapter had some sort of sad ending to it. So the day after this was posted it got reedited and changed from finished to incomplete. Now it sits, still as it's incomplete form.**_


End file.
